Oct 04
7
Pumpkin Seeds: Nouns I Don’t Get Edition
1. Gwyneth Paltrow. Dime a dozen white girl with zero personality and limited acting ability.
2. Neil Gaiman. Just another imaginative writer lacking in fundamental skills. Much ado about nothing.
3. Beyoncé. Destiny’s Child had one good song – Independent Women – before she went solo, and her own album is a testament to the power of good production over talent. Did Jay-Z threaten everyone in the media?
4. Jay Leno. He’s as hit or miss as the wannabes on Last Comic Standing and yet dominates late night.
5. Men. Specifically the ones who believe whistling/catcalling/leering at a woman from their car/window/perch on the corner is somehow appealing.
6. Women. Specifically the ones who seemingly bathe in perfume before getting on the train, and then proceed to apply layers of makeup on their way to work, transforming before my eyes into corporate clowns.
7. Budweiser, Coors, et al. Most major domestic brews are cold piss-water with obscene marketing budgets.
8. Diet Soda. Artificial sweeteners taste nasty and will likely be found to cause cancer 10 years from now.
(8a.)Diet Soda with a Value Meal. The 119 calories you save are irrelevant compared to that fat-magnet Whopper you wolfed down.
9. Yankee fans. Actually, I get them, I just don’t like most of them! Especially at PM rush hour during the playoffs.
10. Bush or Kerry fans. No matter your political leanings or party allegiance, how can anyone actually claim to like or admire either of these scumbags?
11. Gay Republicans. And black ones. And Latino ones. And middle-income ones. And lower-income ones…
