Election 2008: D&D Style

This might be one of the funniest — if narrowly targeted — spoofs of the election I’ve seen so far:

HILARY: C’mon you guys, I’ve been playing this shit since Gygax was in eighth grade.  Why can’t I be the party leader with the magic sword for once?

MCCAIN: Because no one wants to see you in a bronze bra.

OBAMA: Oh dude, BURRRRRNNNN.

HILARY: SCREW YOU, Grandpa. I will so kick your ass.

MCCAIN: Yeah?  Bring it!  I didn’t spend 3 years in the Abyss with Githzerai hooking my nads up to a car battery to get beat by some Wellesley girl.

HILARY: WHATEVER, you can’t even lift your arms over your head.

RON PAUL:  I brought my Planescape character!

OBAMA: Dude, we’re playing Forgotten Realms.

RON PAUL: I rift in from Sigil!  I’m a Chaotic Neutral Tiefling Barbarian/Monk/Rogue!

MCCAIN: DUDE, that is not even LEGAL.

RON PAUL:  Ronpaul the Barbarian say: suck it!  Guns and abortions and weed for everyone! WHEEE!

PALIN: Hi folks!  Sorry I’m late!  I brought caribou burgers.

HILARY: Who the HELL is this?

MCCAIN: It’s cool, she’s with me.

HILARY: No!  No, it’s not cool!  Every time you bring one of your rodeo-queen girlfriends in here she ends up playing some succubus infiltrator and killing the whole party!

MCCAIN: Now, that is patently untrue.

BIDEN: He has a point. Cindy turned out to be a vampire.

MCCAIN: DUDE. SHUT UP.

GM: You guys, seriously, if you don’t knock it off with the bickering I’m going to start docking XP.

MCCAIN: You know what?  Fuck it.  I’m suspending the campaign.

GM: You can’t do that!  Only I can suspend the campaign!  I didn’t suspend it for the 1988 Mountain Dew shortage and I’m not going to suspend it now.

KUCINICH: YOU GUYS I AM TOTALLY CASTING A CANTRIP

MCCAIN: Oh my god, Dennis, shut up, you don’t even count.

KUCINICH: YOU GUYS ARE DICKS

I’d love to see this as an SNL skit! There’s more, so click through and give it a read.

(h/t Ben Smith)

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Guy LeCharles Gonzalez

As in guillotine. Old/new media pragmatist. Sometimes loud, formerly poet, always opinionated. Beer, bourbon, books, games, running, soccer.

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