Mariah @ the Dive Bar

Mariah @ the Dive Bar

When I promised to
love you forever
and ever, long time
like no one else
and assorted other
exaggerations…
I lied.

I was drunk.

So were you
of course
—it’s what we do—
so this should be a moot
point but sober now
I feel the need to clarify
some things.

That night
Mariah playing on
the jukebox in that
dive bar we both
love a bit too much
we bought into
the lyrics believing
we did, in fact,
belong together.

We probably definitely
most likely don’t but
damn if she didn’t make it
seem possible, especially
when the song
changed

and you lip-synched
the chorus

…for a split second
I believed I just might
always be your baby.

In the harsh light of day
we’re completely totally
utterly wrong
for each other like

Cage & Shue in Vegas
or Halle and Billy Bob
in bumfuck wherever
without the Oscars
or red carpet wardrobes

and yet, you handle
Irish Car Bombs
and 13inis
like we’re related
but we’re not
and that’s gotta be
a sign
of something…

and then Mariah chimes in
telling us to “shake it off”
but Vodka-fueled hormones
raging, we can’t
keep our hands off
each other, mistranslating
her warning as a command
to “take it off”

barely resisting long enough
to reach the stairwell.

“Bad ideas” are subjective
concepts
like “true love”
and “always and forever.”

Mariah only confuses the situation
because she’s a little crazy
and not really one to give advice
and when you’re drunk enough
every song is as open to interpretation
as the Bible’s definitions of
“neighbor” and
“Armageddon”.

One more round
and we’ll be headed off to Vegas
where daylight is optional
gamblers drink free
and the only commandment is

Thou shalt be prepared for the consequences.

We may be completely
totally utterly wrong
for each other but

what if we’re not…?

What if Mariah actually
is singing to us from that
old jukebox, and we’re her
vision of love?

There’s got to be a way
to make it happen
one sweet day
the proverbial happy ending
looking for a dysfunctional home
to spend a sober night or two
out of the cold?

What if we didn’t drink
Tonight,
stayed home instead and
programmed our own
playlist, set it to shuffle,
repeat all, play?

What if then
I promised to
love you forever
and ever, long time
like no one else
and assorted other
exaggerations…

What if this time
I wasn’t lying?

Written by Guy LeCharles Gonzalez

Guy LeCharles Gonzalez is the Chief Content Officer for LibraryPass, and former publisher & marketing director for Writer’s Digest. Previously, he was also project lead for the Panorama Project; director, content strategy & audience development for Library Journal & School Library Journal; and founding director of programming & business development for the original Digital Book World.