Guy stuff.

Parenting isn’t all rainbows and butterflies!

Last night's Desperate Housewives had an interesting subplot centering on the stay-at-home mom character - the one with the hyper twins and an infant, and possibly a fourth kid? - and how she ends up having a nervous breakdown from the stress of it all. There's a moment towards the end, when she's talking to the other two moms about how she feels like a terrible mother because she can't handle the stress when it seems like every other mother can, that was particularly poignant. They comfort her with their own war stories and she's like, "how come no one…

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Damn ABC and their addictive Sunday night lineup!

How am I supposed to ease into the beginning of a new week, following an exciting afternoon of football, when I can’t get away from the TV from 7-11pm?

Scoff if you like, but America’s Funniest Home Videos is funny as hell. Tom Bergeron is no Bob Saget, thank god, and who couldn’t benefit from a little mindless slapstick humor while being forced to admit the weekend is over and start preparing for a return to the old grind? Then Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, the most emotionally-manipulative tearjerker on TV, interferes with the kids’ bath and get-ready-for-bed time, forcing us into a graceless ballet in between commercials. The first 10 minutes and the final 20 are the must-see portions of the show, though, no distractions allowed, which means their usual bedtime gets extended by a half-hour.

At 9pm – kids in bed but still awake, the apartment littered with toys and other married-with-children hazards like a sink full of dishes, piles of unopened mail, shredded magazines and random clothing spead here and there – it’s time for Desperate Housewives. If we blink during the closing credits of EM:HE, we end up stuck to the couch for the first 10 minutes as ABC has perfected the “don’t change the channel” transition between shows that reels the unsuspecting viewer in like bad poets to an open mic. Housewives is without question the best guilty pleasure on TV since…well, since the A-Team if I’m being honest!

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Pumpkin Seeds: 11 Shots to the Dome Edition

1. The Incredibles, in a word was, what the hell, INCREDIBLE! Seriously; like “the Oscar goes to…,” Best Picture kind of incredible. “The Oscar goes to…,” Best Director kind of incredible. “The Oscar goes to…,” Best Original Screenplay kind of incredible. It had more emotional depth than most live-action movies, and absolutely blows the doors off previous Pixar and Dreamworks efforts. To not be acknowledged as such would be an even bigger crime than the 1999 Best Picture award.

2. The preview of Pixar’s next effort, Cars, struck me as both an odd direction and incredibly boring. As it is quite possibly their last movie in conjunction with Disney, I wonder if they purposely went with a lesser concept to complete their contract, anticipating a new partner and saving their best stuff for the future? Because, really, unlike any of their previous films’ previews, Cars just looks dumb.

3. For the most part, I consider myself a pretty tolerant and non-prejudicial person. Politically incorrect jokes aside, I don’t typically judge anyone by whatever subgroup society has created for them, understanding that people are individuals and should be judged accordingly. That said, this morning, for the second time in the three years since 9/11, I got off of a train before my stop because there was a guy that was giving me the “looks like a terrorist” heebie-jeebies. He looked like a middle eastern Spike Lee, complete with facial hair and dorky glasses, wearing a baseball cap, jeans and a sweatshirt and carrying only a rectangular leather CD case. No CD player, mind you, just the case. And he was holding it close to his lap, tapping away nervously. And he was sitting right next to me. If he looked like anything but someone from the middle east, I would have probably found him merely annoying. If he’d looked the way he looked, but had a CD player to go with the case, I probably wouldn’t have paid him the slightest bit of attention. But he didn’t, and all the things that led so many otherwise sensible Americans to vote for George Bush three weeks ago flared up in my mind and I was convinced this guy was going to blow the train somewhere between the City Hall and Wall Street stations. So I got off the train at 14th Street, caught the next one, and braced myself at each stop, each delay, each announcement, not sure whether I was hoping more that I was wrong, or right. Because being right would have been traumatic, but being wrong meant I’d completely given in to the fear.

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Pumpkin Seeds: Kitchen Sink Edition

1. David Twohy, director of The Chronicles of Riddick, told Now Playing Magazine that further installments of the proposed Riddick trilogy of films will depend in part on the performance of the upcoming Riddick director's-cut DVD, which hits stores next week. The first Chronicles of Riddick film didn't fare well at the box office in its premiere this year. Sequels are "still a possibility, but many eyes are watching this DVD release very closely," Twohy told the new magazine. (SciFWire) 2. Support a worthy cause. Buy The Chronicles of Riddick today! 3. Ralph Nader has successfully called for a recount…

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BABE IN THE WOODS: Nine

Thursday, October 31, 2013: Sherman Park, NY, USA Herman Ruth stood perfectly still, partially hidden behind a large oak tree three hundred yards into Leitas Pond Park, directly across from Detective Eric Pearson’s house. It was the first time he’d observed the house, but it was the first time he had company doing it. His eyes sparkled, as if lit from within, as they moved back and forth between Pearson’s house and the other zombie watching it from the edge of the tree line. When the last light in the house had turned off ten minutes ago, he’d locked his…

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BABE IN THE WOODS: Eight

Thursday, October 31, 2013: Sherman Park, NY, USA Eric Pearson gave the hot water knob another turn, wanting more than anything at that moment to scald away the invisible layer of fear coating his entire body. He winced sharply, but didn’t back away from the steaming spray showering down on him. He’d been standing there for the past 20 minutes and was planning to keep standing there until the hot water had completely run out. The Department of Homeland Water Conservation could fine him double for the violation, for all he cared. It was another twenty minutes before the water…

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