Election 2008: D&D Style
This might be one of the funniest — if narrowly targeted — spoofs of the election I’ve seen so far:
HILARY: C’mon you guys, I’ve been playing this shit since Gygax was in eighth grade. Why can’t I be the party leader with the magic sword for once?
MCCAIN: Because no one wants to see you in a bronze bra.
OBAMA: Oh dude, BURRRRRNNNN.
HILARY: SCREW YOU, Grandpa. I will so kick your ass.
MCCAIN: Yeah? Bring it! I didn’t spend 3 years in the Abyss with Githzerai hooking my nads up to a car battery to get beat by some Wellesley girl.
HILARY: WHATEVER, you can’t even lift your arms over your head.
RON PAUL: I brought my Planescape character!
OBAMA: Dude, we’re playing Forgotten Realms.
RON PAUL: I rift in from Sigil! I’m a Chaotic Neutral Tiefling Barbarian/Monk/Rogue!
MCCAIN: DUDE, that is not even LEGAL.
RON PAUL: Ronpaul the Barbarian say: suck it! Guns and abortions and weed for everyone! WHEEE!
PALIN: Hi folks! Sorry I’m late! I brought caribou burgers.
HILARY: Who the HELL is this?
MCCAIN: It’s cool, she’s with me.
HILARY: No! No, it’s not cool! Every time you bring one of your rodeo-queen girlfriends in here she ends up playing some succubus infiltrator and killing the whole party!
MCCAIN: Now, that is patently untrue.
BIDEN: He has a point. Cindy turned out to be a vampire.
MCCAIN: DUDE. SHUT UP.
GM: You guys, seriously, if you don’t knock it off with the bickering I’m going to start docking XP.
MCCAIN: You know what? Fuck it. I’m suspending the campaign.
GM: You can’t do that! Only I can suspend the campaign! I didn’t suspend it for the 1988 Mountain Dew shortage and I’m not going to suspend it now.
KUCINICH: YOU GUYS I AM TOTALLY CASTING A CANTRIP
MCCAIN: Oh my god, Dennis, shut up, you don’t even count.
KUCINICH: YOU GUYS ARE DICKS
I’d love to see this as an SNL skit! There’s more, so click through and give it a read.
(h/t Ben Smith)
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