Pumpkin Seeds: Anti-Corporate America Edition

1. In a bizarre turn of events in the Yummy Sandwich saga, I bumped into its President/Owner, Avi, on Tuesday afternoon as I was heading out for lunch and a walk in the park. He was standing out in front of my office building, wearing a Yummy Sandwich t-shirt, and stopped me, asking my name with a gleam in his eye. It took a second for my brain to process everything as I answered, "Guy. Why? Are you kidnapping me?" He laughed and we talked and he apologized for the infamous Powerpoint presentation, "We’re a new company and we’re making…

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Yummy Sandwich: Revisited

Due to a sudden rise in Google searches for "Yummy Sandwich" leading to my journal over the weekend, and a couple of sad attempts at revisionist spin in my comments section, let's recap for the newcomers. 1) On May 20, 2004, I wrote about Yummy Sandwich's Powerpoint presentation and it's questionable use of "illegal immigrants" to promote their product. They had recently been brought in by the company I work for and a co-worker pointed me to the offending slide in the presentation. 2) On June 4, 2004, in a P.S. to an entry about the xenophobic Vernon Robinson, I…

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Jesse Helms is back! And this time he’s black.

You can’t make this stuff up.

“Jesse Helms is back! And this time he’s black.” That’s Winston-Salem city councilman Vernon Robinson’s campaign slogan as one of eight GOP candidates in the July 20 primary for North Carolina’s 5th Congressional District.

Pretty inoffensive, though, compared to the radio ad he’s running:

ANNOUNCER NO. 1: Vernon Robinson, conservative. The aliens are here, but they didn’t come in a spaceship. They came across our unguarded Mexican border by the millions — illegally.

They’ve filled our criminal courtrooms and invaded our school. They sponge off the American taxpayer by clogging our welfare lines and our hospital emergency rooms. They’ve even taken over the DMV. These aliens commit heinous crimes against us, like Maximiliano Esparza, who raped a nun and strangled her with her own rosary — illegally.

They commit crimes but won’t commit to learn our language. You walk into a McDonald’s restaurant to order a Big Mac and find to your horror that the employees don’t speak English — illegals. You may be in the heart of America, but you feel as though you are in the Twilight Zone.

Vernon Robinson will secure our borders, cut off the welfare payments and once and for all make English our official language. Press one for English? No. Vote Vernon Robinson for English.

VERNON ROBINSON: I’m Vernon Robinson, and I approve this message.

ANNOUNCER NO. 2: Yo Gringo! Este episodio de Twilight Zone era pagado para Robinson por congreso.

The ad’s come under fire, not for it’s extreme offensiveness but for the fact that the required disclosure at the end – “This ad was paid for by Robinson for Congress.” – is in Spanish.

…?

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Yummy Sandwich.

Yummy Sandwich. Yummy Sandwich. Yummy Sandwich. Yummy Sandwich. Yummy Sandwich. [I want to make sure this gets picked up by any Google searches for these ignorant bastards.] Yummy Sandwich is one of those "take-in" lunch services that corporations sign on with to keep you from wasting their time by leaving your desk and going outside for lunch. In their PowerPoint presentation, they break down the total time spent getting take-out (1 hour, 18 minutes) vs. ordering for delivery (1 hour, 38 minutes) vs. Yummy Sandwich (33 minutes). They also annoyingly refer to the delivery "boy," a seemingly minor thing until…

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