Pumpkin Seeds: The Week that Was Edition

1. No matter your individual schedule, NaNoWriMo marches on, with or without you. Despite Comic Book Wednesday stealing a night of writing from me, I’m still in the mix. In a deep hole, yes, but in the mix. Yesterday’s unexpected day off as the kids’ day care decided to celebrate Veteran’s Day at the last minute, helped as I pounded out 1,355 words for the zombies’ first appearance while the kids napped!

2. NaNoWriMo Word Count, Day 11: 7,881 (-10,456)

3. The new boss announced on Tuesday that, as of next Friday, she’ll be the old boss, heading back to the consumer side of the publishing business. Me so jealous! And getting a little tired of the merry-go-round. I’m really looking forward to working for someone that doesn’t wait until they’re leaving to acknowledge I’ve been overlooked and vowing to fight for me on their way out the door. I mean really!

4. If I were Donald Trump, I’d be a little concerned about this year’s batch of Apprentices (Apprentici?) vying for his favor. The majority are total losers that I wouldn’t want taking my order at White Castle, much less being responsible for a multi-million dollar company. Raj, one of the better candidates, fell victim to hubris and a couple of clutch errors, while dingbats like Ivana are somehow still in the game. At the end of last night’s episode, I would have expected him to fire all three of the losers if not for NBC’s lack of overhyped promotion of the moment. YOU’VE. NEVER. SEEN. THIS. BEFORE.

5. In related news, Stacie J. – this season’s unfairly maligned black girl – was apparently greeted with a 5am call from the police, informing her that her Subway franchise in Harlem had been burglarized. I’m thinking Ivana was involved.

5a. NOTE: Omarosa was the fairly, though not nearly enough, maligned black girl from last season. Stacie J. never had a chance.

6. Identity Crisis #6: HOT! Brad Meltzer is weaving quite the mystery here, dropping red herrings galore and even daring to mess with the big man himself, Batman. If he manages to wrap things up in the final issue without resorting to any cop-outs or leaving any major loose ends – I’m looking at you, Mr. Bendis – I may have to check out one of his novels. If you haven’t been following along monthly, grab the inevitable trade paperback when it’s released.

7. Puppet sex aside, TEAM AMERICA: World Police, wasn’t nearly as fun as I thought it would be. More clever than laugh-out-loud funny, more pitch-perfect action movie spoof than political satire, it suffered a bit in comparison to the South Park movie. There were a handful of snort-out-loud moments, though, including a distress signal that still pops up in my head and brings me to tears. What they were able to achieve with the puppets themselves, though, was very impressive. “America! Fuck, yeah!”

8. I will not talk about the election anymore. I will not talk about the election anymore. I will not talk about the election anymore.

9. Seriously, fuck John Kerry! If Massachusetts has a legitimate third party, they need to be grooming someone to challenge him for his Senate seat starting yesterday.

10. Terror-threat levels reduced at the financial institutions that were allegedly being targeted over the summer due to improved protection measures. US pushes into Falluja in high-stakes urban warfare reminiscent of Somalia. John Ashcroft steps down, to be replaced by anti-abortion Texas crony, and racial window-dressing, Alberto Gonzales. Dubya II: Shit Gets Worse is going to be the typical sequel featuring a higher body count, more gratitious [homo]sex[ual boogeymen], and an amibiguous ending that leaves room for another sequel featuring some of the supporting cast. Thank you Iowa!

11. Okay, one last thing about the election. Democrats allowed the 30th and 41st largest states in the country, and two of the least diverse – Iowa and New Hampshire – to effectively pick its candidate for President. Where is the uproar about reforming the primary process? ‘Cause that shit is broke.

12. Dungeons & Dragons tonight. Prefaced by some NaNoWriMo action. Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.

Written by Guy LeCharles Gonzalez

Guy LeCharles Gonzalez is the Chief Content Officer for LibraryPass, and former publisher & marketing director for Writer’s Digest. Previously, he was also project lead for the Panorama Project; director, content strategy & audience development for Library Journal & School Library Journal; and founding director of programming & business development for the original Digital Book World.

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