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Me, in a green "Freed Between the Lines." hoodie.
Written by December 3, 2004

Pumpkin Seeds: STFU! Edition

Personal Article

1. Democrats whining about the election. It’s pretty clear there were various problems across the country, as there always have been, but crying foul-play after your guy limply threw in the towel and disappeared is self-flagellation at its most annoying. Screw Kerry, deal with reality and start working on fixing the system that stuck us with the two of them as a choice.

2. Elitist Blue-Staters. Enough of the “Fuck the South” and “Urban Archipelago” nonsense. I have family down south. I live in the City you all cream yourselves over. They’re not all ignorant racist homophobes, and it’s not all rainbows and butterflies here. Get over yourselves.

3. George Steinbrenner. You deserve to have to pay Giambi every cent of that bloated contract. Don’t even try to act like you didn’t know he was on steroids. Karma’s a bitch, ain’t it?

4. Greek lawyers outraged over Alexander’s bi-sexuality being referenced in Oliver Stone’s latest movie. Never mind that you hadn’t even seen the movie before threatening the lawsuit, if you’d simply have read some of the reviews, you wouldn’t have even bothered. Hell, I figured it was going to suck once I saw Colin Farrell in that stupid blond wig. That’s something worth suing over.

5. Gay and lesbian groups praising Alexander’s bi-sexuality being referenced in Oliver Stone’s latest movie. Did you pay any attention to the environmentalist’s ill-conceived embrace of Day After Tomorrow?

6. Whichever reviewer referred to Alexander as the “first gay action hero.” Everybody knows that He-Man was the first gay action hero. Duh!

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Written by

Guy LeCharles Gonzalez is the Chief Content Officer for LibraryPass, and former publisher & marketing director for Writer’s Digest. Previously, he was also project lead for the Panorama Project; director, content strategy & audience development for Library Journal & School Library Journal; and founding director of programming & business development for the original Digital Book World.

2 comments

  • Matthew Charles Siegel has written:

    While everyone in the South may not be a racist, to say that it’s that alone that bothers me about the south would be to leave a false impression. It’s the racism, but it’s also the bible-thumping, death-penalty-embracing, gun-toting, fear-inspired nonsense that consistently reeks of the utmost hypocrisy. That’s what bothers me the most. That, and the way in which ignorance and stupidity are exalted, celebrated, and treated as virtues in the face of that “effeminate brand of northern intellectualism that threatens to ruin this nation.” Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the homophobia….

    Racism exists all over the place. You can’t escape it. And while New York may hardly be referred to as a paradise, it is a haven within an essentially right-wing, conservative nation that is presently doing what it does best: fostering fear, both domestically and abroad, in order to justify the brutalization and exploitation of anyone brown enough and/or poor enough so that we can excuse their deaths as an acceptable price to pay for the sake of the continued aggrandizement of wealth and power. There’s plenty wrong with New York, but I’ll take it over Alabama any day of the week. I’m just sayin’…..MCS

  • Anonymous has written:

    I see your very vocal today. Again, we’re on the same page. Take care.

    Khola

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