WOULD YOU EVER:

1. Eat a bug?: If circumstances called for it, probably. ie: Survivor.

2. Bungee jump?: Not interested. Crazy-ass white people!

4. Kill someone?: If they’re threatening me and mine, most definitely.

5. Kiss someone of the same sex?: I’m not deadset against it but I’ve never had the urge, either. Women are much better to kiss than men.

6. Have sex with someone of the same sex?: Magic 8-Ball says “Nope.”

7. Parachute from a plane?: Been there, done that, collected the hazard pay for it.

8. Walk on hot coals?: Whatever for? An epsiode of Jackass? No thanks.

9. Go out with someone for their looks?: Sure, though it wouldn’t last long if that was the only thing.

10. Be a vegetarian?: I’ve considered it. Don’t know that I have the self-discipline, though.

12. Wear plaid with stripes?: Not purposely, though I wouldn’t be surprised if I have in the past. Fashion isn’t my strong suit.

13. IM a stranger?: For what purpose? I don’t do prank calls anymore and cybersex is pretty lame.

14. Sing Karaoke?: Only when drunk.

15. Get drunk off your Ass?: More times than I’m comfortable with these days.

16. Shoplift?: Been there, done that, over it.

17. Run a red light?: I try not to but there are times when it’s necessary. Screaming kids in the back seat three blocks from home comes to mind…

18. Star in a porn video?: As Rey Mysterio, maybe.

19. Dye your hair blue?: I’ve always been partial to platinum blonde but Salomé’s not feeling it!

20. Be on Survivor?: I would LOVE to be on Survivor!

21. Wear makeup in public?: As a lark, sure.

22. Not wear makeup in public?: That’s how you’ll usually find me.

23. Cheat on a test?: Did it once because the teacher sucked and none of us were prepared so we all chipped in answers to pass.

24. Make someone cry?: Depends on the context. I’m not averse to it as a goal under the right circumstances.

25. Date someone more than 10 years older than you: 44? Sorry to say but that’s less likely the older I get. Call me shallow.

26. Stay up all night?: Harder to do these days when you know that’ll probably mean a 36-hour day.

Not sure what happened to questions 3 and 11. Mr. Ashcroft?

PS: Check out my new glasses. Hard to tell the difference in pictures.