Friend Test

It makes sense that, unless you really know me, you’d assume I was born in the Bronx. It was one of many trick questions on my Friendtest and the one most people missed.

The correct answers were:

1. What borough was I born in?

Manhattan (10 points)

In fact, I was born in Manhattan, at the now defunct Flower Fifth Avenue Hospital, a couple of blocks away from Mount Sinai. Supposedly, I was born in the hallway at around 5am, which possibly explains a lot of things.

2. Which High School did I graduate from?

Lakeland HS (10 points)

I attended Mt. Vernon High School through the middle of 11th grade before moving north to Yorktown Heights. We lived approx. three blocks from the border that separated the districts for Yorktown and Lakeland High Schools.

3. My first legitimate, PAID publication was…

Poets & Writers Magazine (10 points)

While Purr Magazine was my first publication outside of school newspapers – as a fledgling e-zine back in the mid-90s, its legitimacy is certainly debatable – it was an article on the 1998 National Poetry Slam for Poets & Writers Magazine that got me my first paycheck. I’d go on to write two more articles for the magazine and one for the web site.

4. My favorite book EVER is:

Fool on the Hill (10 points)

Matt Ruff is the writer I wish I was. Plain and simple. Children of the Shaman was a good guess, though, as it is without question my favorite fantasy novel ever.

5. My best friend in Jr. High School was named:

John Peter Wilson (10 points)

This is straight out of my poem, Behind the Music – “John Peter and I agreed on almost everything…” Several people fell for Isaac who wasn’t even a real person, presumably guessing I’d named my son after him – he’s named for my grandfather, Isaac LeCharles Harper, who appears in a few of my poems. Vesna Babic was the only other real person on the list.

6. Which city have I NOT lived in?

Hoboken, NJ (10 points)

I hate Hoboken. NJ’s equivalent of the Upper East Side, it’s everything I hate about New York. Several people guessed Crompond, NY, the last place I lived with my mother before moving out a year after graduating High School.

7. If I won the lottery, the first thing I would do is:

Pay off all of our bills. (10 points)

Duh! People that guess “Hire a financial planner” must have forgotten that I despise the industry and considered my attempt at working in it a well-intentioned but misguided attempt to work it from the inside. Most of them are commission-driven used car salesman, and the ones that aren’t wouldn’t deign to talk to anyone with less than a $500,000 net worth and $100,000 to invest. No thanks!

8. If I could live anywhere, money no object, where would I choose?

A brownstone in the Bronx. (10 points)

The funniest thing about this one is that Salomé got it wrong, guessing of all things, the luxury condo in Manhattan! While everything else on the list would be tempting, there’s no way in the world I’d ever live in Manhattan.

9. My favorite athlete EVER is:

Graig Nettles (10 points)

The one answer that would have been easy to figure out by searching this journal for one word: eBay. I’ve got an autographed bat and ball and, within the week, will add this to my collection. Remember, I was a Yankee fan up until 1981 or so, when they’d run out of big-name players to buy and their farm system dried up. You know, kind of like this year!

10. What is my ideal job?

Small Press Publisher. (10 points)

There wasn’t a job on that list I wouldn’t love – including marketing director of ESPN Magazine, the closest thing to what I actually do 9-5, yet no one guessed – but nothing would come close to publishing books that I’d love to read by writers I believe should be read by more people. While there’s little chance of it ever being my primary job – short of winning the lottery – it’s coming closer and closer to being a reality.