On the 89th Day, I Quit

ON THE 89th DAY, I QUIT

I do not believe
in fate or destiny
or God’s will
or man’s good intentions.

Give me the capricious gods instead,
Dow Jones, Starbucks, Dick Cheney
so I at least know that where I stand on
this stacked deck is arbitrary.

I believe I am destined
for greatness, if only I could
get out of my own way
and stop being so damn scared of it.

“If a man is considered guilty
4 what goes on in his mind
Then gimme the electric chair
4 all my future crimes-oh!”

My kiss is a double-edged sword
and I have slashed my way
through the hearts and minds
of countless innocents.

I curse myself daily
for the havok I have wrought,
the pain I have caused,
the man I should have been.

I regret only not believing in myself
enough to balance the better
with the worse with the sickness,
but health can be so fleeting…

so I regret nothing.

The first Step always tripped me
up, unable to relinquish power
to an unknown god, but on the off-chance
someone’s actually listening,
thank you, thank you
for those who deserved better
but loved me anyway.

Written by Guy LeCharles Gonzalez

Guy LeCharles Gonzalez is the Chief Content Officer for LibraryPass, and former publisher & marketing director for Writer’s Digest. Previously, he was also project lead for the Panorama Project; director, content strategy & audience development for Library Journal & School Library Journal; and founding director of programming & business development for the original Digital Book World.